If I Was A Child Again

I never thought to actually have homework again but I was wrong. Amanda came to me last week and told me that her English teacher had given her homework that included me doing an essay in the form of a letter. My assignment was to write her (Amanda) a letter explaining what would make the world a better place from my perspective using "if I was a child again".
I thought to post it because it's all part of what I think God is preparing me for. I have such a heart for young girls and want so desperately to help as many as I can to be confident, embrace who they are and celebrate their uniqueness. I'd love nothing more than to help them through the very difficult time of being a teenager. If I could save just one girl from experiencing the feelings of worthlessness that I felt I would be happy. So this letter is not just addressing Amanda really; it is to all those young kids out there who feel that they are not valuable.

...Dear Amanda,

The world can be a better place. It only takes 1 person to make a change in one other person’s life who will then make a change in another’s life. It is the pay it forward concept. If I could go back and live my life again, perhaps I would do it differently.

For instance, if I were a child again, I would be more confident. I would know who I was and wouldn’t let another child tell me I was not good enough because I wore glasses or didn’t wear the latest clothes. I would be happy with what I was given and walk with my head held high. I would know that confidence doesn’t come from the outside but from the inside.

If I were a child again, I would love myself a little more. I would know that God created me perfectly and with intent. I would know that not one hair on my head was a mistake. I would know that even when the world made me feel unloved or unwanted, or unworthy, I would know that God loves me no matter what. When I didn’t feel like I fit it, I would know that I wasn’t alone. I would make sure that no one else felt alone either.

If I were a child again, I would know that I was unique and I was meant to be unique. I wasn’t meant to be just like everyone else. I would know that it was O.K. that I didn’t look like Miley Cyrus because I wasn’t meant to; just like she wasn’t meant to look like me. I would embrace the color of my eyes and the body I was given. I wouldn’t compare myself to others. And I would tell others not to do it either.

If I were a child again, I would know that I had something valuable to offer. I would know that I was likeable and could be a good friend. I would believe that my friends liked me for who I was and weren’t pretending just to be nice. I would know that I wasn’t just tolerated. I would know that my friends liked me because I was funny and generous and fun to be around. I would make sure that others felt valued as well. I would go out of my way to make sure everyone had a friend and felt included.

If I were a child again, I would not let the people around me define who I was. I would not believe them when they said I was ugly and was dressed funny. I would not believe them when they said hurtful things. I would not listen when they called me names. I would not let them make me cry. I would know that I wasn’t any of those things and if they just got to know me they would know that too. I would not stand by and watch the same thing happen to someone else. I would stand up for myself and others.

If I were a child again, I would understand that the world could let me down but that God never would. I would know that I always had Him to count on. I would rely on Him to get me through each day. And I would encourage others to do the same.

If I were a child again I would realize that the world is not a perfect place. I would realize that hate has a history. I would know that each person causing hurt has been hurt. If I was a child again, I would try to find a way to stop it before it was too late. Sweetheart, you are still a child and you can change things now so that you do not have to think back to another time and wonder “if I was a child again”. It is your time to make a difference in this world so that it is a better place for your children.

My personal wish for you is to always feel loved and cherished. Not because I love you with all my heart, but because God loves you with all of His. When the world lets you down, know that God will hold you up. When you look in the mirror and doubt what you see, know that God sees Himself when He sees you. You were made perfect and with intent. Not a single part of you was a mistake. You were placed on this earth with a purpose and for a purpose. I pray that you will know this in your heart so that you can pass on this legacy to your children who in turn will pass it on to theirs.

I am so grateful to God for giving me the honour and privilege of being your mother. You give my life purpose. You are the reason I get up in the morning and my inspiration to be a better person. You are my precious girl and I love you.

With all my heart,

Mom XOXO

Lord, lead me, I will follow.

So here I am getting ready to go on a trip with 5 other women. We're going to the National Women's Leadership Forum at Ridgecrest, North Carolina. Me going to a leadership forum. Who'd have thought it. Me who was told repeatedly that I was a follower. Me who believed it all these years. But I'm going. I was even asked to go and was reminded of my leadership role at my church when I contested that I didn't have a right to go because I was not a leader. And now, not only am I going, but excited to go! I'm counting down the days and wonder how long this week will seem having 6 more days to wait. But wait I must. A test in patience perhaps?



Patience has never been one of my more endearing qualities. And today, I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me in North Carolina. I have been praying for direction and am hoping that I will return from this trip with a clearer path. I sense where God is leading me but I need to be sure. Actually, I know where my heart is but need to know where to go from here. That's what I'm hoping to find out. I've been feeling like I'm being groomed. I feel like God has been speaking to me through others. He has been breaking my heart throug the pain of others. A young girl, the daughter of a friend of mine, being told that she is ugly and believing it. The daughter of another friend saying that she has nothing interesting to offer as a friend or woman. Believing that she will never marry because she has nothing to attract a husband. It breaks my heart.



God has brought me to this very moment in my life for a purpose. He did not allow me to suffer as these girls have for nothing. My heart breaks for them because I too have been where they are. I need to change things and show these hurting souls that God loves them above all. They need to feel the confidence of Christ. I want them to be able to look in the mirror and love what they see. I need them to break the cycle that took me far too long to even crack. I'm not fully there yet but perhaps my hope will rest in them? Maybe my chains will finally break when theirs do? God has been preparing me for this task. He has mapped out my past, my present and my future. My past hurts, my present struggles and my future hope. I am so looking forward to seeing what He has in store for me. Together we can change the way young girls feel about themselves so that no earthly being could ever alter it. Young girls need to know it in their heart that they belong and that they are loved. That they are valued as a person and not just an object. They need to know that they are "somebody". And not just anybody but God's beloved daughter. That is my purpose. That is my mission. Lord, now I need your help, please.

Amanda got braces!

There is something about a tween that wears braces that makes her look older. It's almost like a right of passage into the teen years.

Amanda still looks beautiful even with her mouth full of metal. She will have a perfect smile in a couple of years. She didn't like her teeth because she has such a big over bite and she never smiled with her mouth open for pictures. Now that she has braces she said she can smile now. Funny how her mind works!

Sugar Shack

What is winter without a day at the sugar shack? Although there is no snow on the ground anymore, we still got to participate in the french canadian tradition of "cabane à sucre". They had to pour the taffy on a pan of snow that must have been kept in a freezer, but I didn't care, the boiled maple syrup (tire sur la neige) was deeeee-licious! The food was good, the company even better. There is nothing like sharing this tradition with a group of friends and family. There was even a live singer who played his tunes on his guitar and sang some traditional french canadian songs. A couple of my friends even got into it and started playing the "spoons". It was a lot of fun! The only thing missing was Paul. Hubby was in the Bahamas on business and playing a couple games of golf between meetings and will only be getting home tonight. It's too bad he wasn't there, we need a new family picture! The last one we have of all 4 of us is 9 years ago! I guess there is always next year.