Lord, lead me, I will follow.

So here I am getting ready to go on a trip with 5 other women. We're going to the National Women's Leadership Forum at Ridgecrest, North Carolina. Me going to a leadership forum. Who'd have thought it. Me who was told repeatedly that I was a follower. Me who believed it all these years. But I'm going. I was even asked to go and was reminded of my leadership role at my church when I contested that I didn't have a right to go because I was not a leader. And now, not only am I going, but excited to go! I'm counting down the days and wonder how long this week will seem having 6 more days to wait. But wait I must. A test in patience perhaps?



Patience has never been one of my more endearing qualities. And today, I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me in North Carolina. I have been praying for direction and am hoping that I will return from this trip with a clearer path. I sense where God is leading me but I need to be sure. Actually, I know where my heart is but need to know where to go from here. That's what I'm hoping to find out. I've been feeling like I'm being groomed. I feel like God has been speaking to me through others. He has been breaking my heart throug the pain of others. A young girl, the daughter of a friend of mine, being told that she is ugly and believing it. The daughter of another friend saying that she has nothing interesting to offer as a friend or woman. Believing that she will never marry because she has nothing to attract a husband. It breaks my heart.



God has brought me to this very moment in my life for a purpose. He did not allow me to suffer as these girls have for nothing. My heart breaks for them because I too have been where they are. I need to change things and show these hurting souls that God loves them above all. They need to feel the confidence of Christ. I want them to be able to look in the mirror and love what they see. I need them to break the cycle that took me far too long to even crack. I'm not fully there yet but perhaps my hope will rest in them? Maybe my chains will finally break when theirs do? God has been preparing me for this task. He has mapped out my past, my present and my future. My past hurts, my present struggles and my future hope. I am so looking forward to seeing what He has in store for me. Together we can change the way young girls feel about themselves so that no earthly being could ever alter it. Young girls need to know it in their heart that they belong and that they are loved. That they are valued as a person and not just an object. They need to know that they are "somebody". And not just anybody but God's beloved daughter. That is my purpose. That is my mission. Lord, now I need your help, please.